Gonna Write!

I love horror movies. And getting scared. And I believe I would like to share the thrill with my friends. After all sharing is a very integral part of caring.

So I have decided to start writing. I believe that this is the scariest experience I can provide my friends and the thrill of it would keep them coming back for more. At some stage, this might lead to me evolving as a writer and becoming famous. But that is too small a sacrifice for such a noble deed.

My readers may assume one of the following 2 postures after going through my works:

Position 1



Position 2

I believe that 100% of my readers would begin with Position 1, and it would take a lot of hard work on my part to move readers to Position 2. However, I am prepared for this challenge. I shall consider myself successful when I manage to move 67.3% of my readers to Position 2.

Some of you may feel that 67.3% is an adhoc number that I have arrived at. But you are sadly mistaken. After using numerous complicated algorithms and predictive models, I have calculated that this is the number of friends I need to move to position 2, to qualify for one of the most coveted job in the United States of America.

This job has been awaiting an incumbent such as me since 9/11/01. It entails the torture of Al Qaeeda operatives to an extent that no torturers in the past have been able to achieve. With my peculiar writing skills, many believe that I can achieve this previously unachievable feat. I do have a tough road ahead of me, but I am determined to be successful in my endeavors.

Oops! Did I just leak the true objective of my efforts. That's disastrous! But I believe that you are all my true friends and would stand by me in my time of need. And all said and done I DO provide you free of cost thrill that is achievable only on watching an authentic Ramsay Brothers or a Himesh Reshamiya movie. So stay with me and enjoy the ride.

PS - If you feel like pulling out your hair, or throwing up, go ahead. Give way to the urge. It is perfectly normal and most people share these reactions with you. But don't even think about blocking my posts. That may unleash hitherto unknown terrors and there may be no escape thereafter.

Agonizingly yours
Sarika