BOWLER

Like most mothers who take their job too seriously, I was also busy trying to feed Ishi her ‘n’th meal of the day. Accompanied by an acute episode of logorrhea, I was also busy expressing displeasure with my 1 year old’s inability to appreciate the apple cinnamon cake baked by me. I loved it. How could she not like it!

That’s when I first heard of Bowler.

Mouli, the au courant friend from forever, couldn’t resist the temptation of telling me about Bowler and sharing how he managed an infant and a toddler all by himself without a single word of complaint. Bowler would always be seen carrying one child in each arm calmly going about the ways of life, never complaining.

Like many other things that Mouli shares from his never-ending knowledge pool, I ignored all that he said and with some more distracting tactics, managed to get Ishi to appreciate the Apple Cinnamon cake that I had so enthusiastically baked. My day was made.

I got to see Bowler just a few days later. We were leaving for Greece the next morning. It was late night and the kids were peacefully sleeping. We were sitting and chatting in Club 25 (as our house is sometimes known) and made an impromptu plan to go to the Irish Pub at the Bay. Fifteen mins later, we were there. Mouli, Paritosh, Swapna, Nidhi and I. Others in the gang were afflicted with ‘llamadas nocturnas’ and couldn’t make it.

‘llamadas nocturnas’ is a disorder that almost 40% Bangaloreans suffer from. Most prevalent amongst engineers and almost all people doing Business with the western world, the person may seem normal all day, but soon after dark till late into the night, is incapacitated and unavailable for any social interaction. It’s almost like some nightly viral fever and is spreading across the city but no one seems to be doing anything about it. For the unacquainted, llamadas nocturnas is related to late night work calls.

I can visualize that night so vividly. We were sitting in the outdoor sitting area at the Pub. The sound of water falling from the roof into the pool right next to us was extremely calming. So was the feel of drops of water bouncing back and upon us. The loud music playing inside the pub was not so loud outside. Like many other weekends that we had been there, there were hardly any other guests. The pub is in an office area and busiest over weekdays. On weekends, only people like us, privileged enough to be living in the vicinity and lazy enough to not want to drive any farther would be seen around. We were placing our order when Bowler walked past. ‘That’s the guy I was talking about’, Mouli shared excitedly, a big grin on his face. As I looked up, I saw an ordinary looking guy. Short and thin, wearing a simple striped shirt with trousers and a very conspicuous flat cap. Not something you see on men walking the streets of Bangalore. We all stared unabashedly at him as he walked past, seemingly oblivious of us and the pub employees optimistically looking at him, hoping that he would come in. In less than a minute, he was gone and we went back to our chatter.

Bowler!

The next morning we were on the flight to Abu Dhabi, en route to Greece. The flight had taken off after a long delay and people swarmed to the rest rooms as soon as the seat belt sign went off. I was sitting on the aisle seat with Paritosh next to me, reading some eclectic poetry. We were both busy trying to prevent Ishi from jumping off into the aisle when we heard people around us whispering what seemed to include the name ‘Bowler’. As I looked up, there he was. Wearing the same flat cap. This time he had the 2 children in his arms. An infant in one arm and a toddler in the other. Suddenly I realized that he was without the kids when we saw him the night before. He walked down the aisle, looking straight ahead, oblivious of the whispers all around him. As he passed by our seat, I could see the calm in those eyes. Now I knew what Mouli meant when he mentioned Bowler’s composure.

Ishi was showing signs of sleepiness and my attention went back to her. We slept through the rest of the flight and didn’t think of or see Bowler for the rest of the journey.

A few days later, I stumbled upon him yet again, during one of many visits to the Manipal Hospital. I was carrying Ishi and waiting in the queue for the lift, when he walked past, conspicuous immediately by the flat cap and the two children, one in each arm. Looking straight ahead, with the same calm and composed look, he went past me. I was wondering what brought him there, when the lift came and once again, I forgot all about Bowler.

I saw him many times over the next few visits. It seemed like we were both frequent visitors to the Hospital. I would stumble upon him at the entrance, during the security check, waiting at the reception or in the lift queue. Always carrying the two children, with the same calm expression and not to forget that conspicuous flat cap. Finally, one day we ended up sitting next to each other in the waiting area. I grabbed the opportunity and started a conversation. It was mostly me talking and him answering in mono syllables. In days to follow, we started acknowledging each other when we met at the hospital. From conversations in the lobby, we went on to having coffee in the small little Café Coffee Day just behind the hospital. Eventually one day, I invited him home.

Like most weekend evenings, the whole gang turned up that evening too. The evening was followed by many others and Bowler soon became part of the gang. Whenever Swapna, Mouli, Nidhi or even Hema, who lived some distance away, would throw a party, Bowler was always invited and was always there. Always coming in with the two kids, one on each arm.

In one such party, he shared his story.

Bowler used work in the armed forces. His work kept him away from family at most times. But that day, he was coming home after a year. His second child was 3 months old and he had not yet seen the baby. He was looking forward to seeing his family after so long. The train reached the city very early in the morning. His home was close by and he got into a cycle rickshaw after some haggling. The neighborhood was still asleep when he reached there. There was smoke in the air. His first thought was that someone had burnt something while cooking. As he got closer, he realized that the smoke was coming from his own house. Suddenly he realized that it was way too much smoke to be coming from a burnt dish. Panicking and fearing the worst, he jumped off the rickshaw and ran towards the house. It was locked from the inside and he had to use his body as a hammer to break it open. As he entered the central courtyard, he saw the children sleeping in mosquito nets on charpoys and smoke coming from the isolated kitchen on the side of the house.  He ran towards the kitchen, stumbled against something and fell down, hitting his head against the hot kitchen slab. As he fell, with blood gushing from his head, he saw his wife. Lying face down, charred black. It was her that he had stumbled against. Coughing vigorously, he pulled her body out into the courtyard. The children were still sleeping peacefully, oblivious to it all. None of the neighbors had woken up or noticed anything amiss, probably because of the strong wind that blew away all the smoke. “She probably woke up to make milk for the child and was too groggy to notice the smell of leaked gas in the kitchen”, said Bowler. For the first time ever, he took off his cap and showed us the scar from he had hit the kitchen slab.

We had listened to the entire story without anyone uttering a single word. None of us remembered when during the story, tears welled into our eyes. But our relationship with Bowler grew much stronger that evening.

For many years subsequently, Bowler was part of the gang, always around. And then one day, he just vanished. His phone was unreachable and no one knew another way of reaching him. Just like that, he was gone from our lives. No reason, no explanation.

I was pondering over where or why he may have gone, when Ishi gave out a loud cry. As I opened my eyes, I saw her sitting next to Paritosh, ready to drop her body backwards onto him, a favorite act every time she woke up in the middle of the night. As I lifted my head, I felt something wet on my cheek. I had probably cried during my dream and the pillow was wet with tears. I glimpsed into the phone on the side table and saw that it 5:30 am. Just 90 minutes since I last fed Ishi at 4:00. She can’t be hungry yet. She had probably just seen a dream. So had I.

As I put my head back on the pillow, I realized that I had known Bowler for less that 90 minutes. In that one dream since 4:00 am, I had met known and also lost him. That explained why Ishi or Bowler’s kids never grew up through the years of knowing each other. Why we didn’t know where Bowler came from or where to find him once he vanished. Why so many people seemed to know such an inconspicuous man. Or why I had no idea why he was called Bowler and what his real name was.

I wonder why Bowler came into my dreams and am still struggling to understand why I feel this emptiness, having lost someone who was just a figment of my imagination for barely an hour. Maybe, Mr. Freud could help. But given that he’s unavailable, I’ve called the au courant Dr. Mouli over for dinner. After all it’s he who brought Bowler into my life. Although he doesn’t know it yet.

True Love

Theirs was a perfect relationship. She could make him cry and he could make her laugh. So perfectly did their temperaments match that sometimes, it was difficult to tell who was crying and who laughing. Needless to say, they fell in love. To the world he was just a person but to her he was the world. His love for her was true. No one could have loved anyone as much as he loved her.

The 'Institution of marriage' was their only hope. An Institution known to cure the truest and deepest of love.

Like all true love, theirs was soon cured.

She realized that her first love was perfect. Only till she found the second one.

Nothing could have been as hard for him as seeing the one he loved, love someone else. But he let her go. He didn't want her to love him because he asked her to love him. He wanted her to love him for loving him.

She had a choice to make.

A tough one.

She chose the second. A bright future, over past glory.

She looked out of the window. It was bright and sunny. Blooming flowers and chirping birds. A song in her heart. A spring in her step. The world looked so much prettier today. Her heart raced like it had never before. She closed her eyes and stepped outside.

Softly she called out and asked the chosen one to take her hand. To take her to pleasures hitherto unknown.

She waited awhile but no one come.

She opened her eyes.

What she saw left her aghast. The trees were bare, the birds were gone; the wind sent a chill down her spine.

But there he was. The love of her life. The most wonderful person she had ever known. He would shield her from this cold winter. He would always be there for her. She ran towards him.

But the closer she got, the farther he seemed. He was but a mirage!

The one she chose, was Love himself.

Love, that is but a journey

It lasts only till it is found..

The destination is that special someone...

to fall in love with, over and over again.

The one that she had left behind!

A baby arrives

Dr. Tarique Hussain has been blessed with a baby girl. This is his first baby with his second wife- Iram Waris.

News of children fathered by him with his first wife "Surgery Begum" remains undisclosed. However, while Iram stayed away from Dr. Tarique all these years, he has spent many long nights enthralled by "Surgery Begum" and there are bound to be a few.

Surgery Begum was the only love of his life for many years, and for a long time they were inseparable. But despite years of companionship and total and absolute commitment, this heart-breaker decided that he needed more excitement in his life. And he got married to Iram Waris. However, to the credit of the gentleman, he still holds his promise to his first wife and given the order of seniority, continues to spend a lot more time in Surgery Begum's OT* than in his newly refurbished house.

Truly a heartbreaker, Dr. Tarique had 2 more loves in his life even before he started courting Surgery Begum. These were Glutonie Aara and Garrulosia Bano. It is difficult to say whom he loved more and both the women, well aware of his love for the other, competed for his attention almost all the time, leaving the gentleman very little time for other pursuits.

Often when he would be sharing a meal with Glutonia Aara, Garrulosia Bano would initiate a conversation and distract him. And while he was busy talking sweet nothings with Garrulosia Bano, Glutonia Aara would lure him with her delicious aroma.

Any other women trying to enter his life would promptly be shooed away by the two women who struggled hard to co-exist between themsleves and wouldn't hear of anyone else getting near.

It was only when they saw how deep Dr. Tarique's love for Surgery Begum was and how he couldn't go through a single day without her, that they reluctantly accepted her into their lives.

How his relationship with these 2 women has been affected after his marriage to Iram Waris is however, still unknown. But it is believed that their child may now become the object of their affection. We do hope that Dr. Tarique would better manage the love of the many women in his daughter's life, than he has in his own!

Here's wishing Dr. Tarique the very best of luck!

* OT - Sometimes moaning and often sighing sounds are heard from the Cardiac Surgery Operation Theatre at Cleveland Clinic at nights when Dr. Tarique stays back.

Missing!

Some time ago a notorious netizen Dr. Amit Sharma reemerged into the social scene after a long period of confinement in the throes of marital bliss. Although his return was an indication of turbulent times ahead, he was still welcomed by most friends without much protest.

Much to everyone's relief, the pain(ful) doctor soon gave up city life and moved to Farmville where he was assigned a small farm and some useless fallow land. With his magical touch and days of drudgery, this land soon bore fruit. The farms turned green, his bank balance soared and he went on to buy more land and build an expensive farmhouse. Gifts started arriving from greedy neighbours hoping for return gifts and soon his farm was full of cattle, horses and baby elephants.

Meanwhile Dr. Sharma continued to do some part time work as a doctor at John Hopkins. For a while he withstood the advancing years, and the strain of indoor and outdoor labor at the farm, night and day, followed by visits to the city for his part time work. Till a few days ago, when he went missing.

We published a couple of posts on this blog trying to lure Dr. Sharma out from oblivion. Given his long track record of never missing an opportunity of passing a sardonic comment at any written or spoken work by the author, we were sure that this would surely draw him out. However, his failure to place a single acerbic comment on these posts has been distressing and we believe that something may be seriously wrong.

Given the gravity of the matter, his friendly neighbour Dr. Deepta Ghate was requested for assistance. Dr. Ghate kindly consented to visit his farm despite the tremendous pressures of motherhood and managing her ( and her husband's) own vast and growing farms and cattle.

In the meanwhile, various rumours are floating around regarding Dr. Sharma's disappearance. Some say that the same is on account of his recently being publicly insulted by a friend who called him "A Good Man". Dr. Sharma did not take this comment too well as it seriously undermines his efforts towards building his impeccable reputation.

Another rumor attributes his disappearance to mis-management of visits by two friends. Both women apparently bumped into each other at his farm! This is however quite a deviation from his immaculate track record and can be ignored. Dr. Sharma has been known to have a One Track Mind and has never been known to go astray.

One theory also talks about a revolt by his farm animals. The animals were upset about being kept in large numbers in a constricted area, with a population density even higher than the Arthur Road Jail briefly inhabited by the legendary Shantaram (see picture). They even protested to various animal rights organizations. But voting rights of Facebook residents are yet uncertain. Due to the political ramifications being uncertain, no animal rights organizations have yet voiced support. It is believed that the animals may have decided to take the matter in their own paws.

While we await Dr. Ghate's return and definitive answers to Dr Sharma's disappearance, we request all you netizens to keep a watch out for Dr. Sharma and pass on any information (or rumours) that you may have on Dr. Sharma's whereabouts.

Near Escape

I am very deeply touched by the unflinching support of certain respectable netizens in these troubled times. They are true friends who have made the utmost sacrifice by not only reading my posts but also explicitly showing their support by placing comments on the same. (Thank you for taking time out from your supreme task of saving the human race, in order to support me in my humble endeavor)

I had been seriously contemplating excusing individuals who comment on my posts, from becoming future victims. However, the presence of certain outstanding individuals, with unnatural mental faculties, in this group has been an eye-opener and I now acknowledge that the idea was quite ridiculous. Given their hyper-active grey cells, Dr. Tarique, Dr. Pankaj and Dr. Maitra seem to have very cleverly figured out my future course of action and taken precautionary measures to protect their interests.

But I am sure most of you would agree that excluding these very special people from my list of future victims would be akin to squandering away God's most precious gift to mankind. And since I do not wish to be accused of such terrible misconduct, I have amended the rule. The rule now is that:

"All NORMAL individuals commenting on my posts shall be excused from being victimized"

"Normal" is however a very subjective term and I reserve sole rights with regard to the definition of the same. Needless to say, the definition shall vary depending on the mood I may be in at a given point of time.

Abnormal behavior, on the other hand, may be highlighted by readers, whose opinions shall be respected and promptly acted upon.

I hope that my ex-boss and current boss understand the risk they have placed themselves at by adding me as a friend on Facebook, given that neither of them is normal by any standards. I am yet to reach a decision regarding their candidature as possible victims, and the same depends on my ability to find something offensive enough to say to them. (Like most bosses,they have been the most genteel creatures I have ever met)

Till next time
Ciao

Breaking News

Milwaukee

Reliable sources have reported that the multi-million dollar claim filed by Dr. Gagan Kumar on account of the damage inflicted on his brand new Mercedes by unknown assailants has just been rejected.

Early reports had assumed this work of art as another masterpiece by the Great artist and many connoisseurs had flocked to his house to look for the wall on which this masterpiece was painted. However, it turned out that Dr. Gagan like many others, had resorted to material attractions. Instead of utilizing his amazing artistic skills or his deftness at digging out decade old pictures (for attracting chicks), Dr. Gagan chose to buy a brand new Mercedes.

We believe that this act should have raised questions regarding his mental state, but sadly it went unnoticed.

When he decided to publish pictures of this work of art for all his lascivious friends on Facebook and then failed to take precautionary measures by not following the "nazar utaro'(NU) act, he deliberately invited the wrath of fate and as we all know, disaster followed.

The Insurance company has therefore decided that the damage inflicted on his car is a result of his own negligence and rejected the claim. It is yet to be seen if Dr. Gagan will take the Insurance Company to Court.

This mental affliction of not following traditions has recently been reported with various prominent netizens and another reported case is that of Dr. Bhagra.

Sources claim that Dr Bhagra has been frequently publishing pictures of his beautiful wife on Facebook for all his friends to see, without following the "NU" act. However, unlike Dr. Gagan's car, Dr. Bhagra's wife seems to be growing more beautiful over the years. Dr. Bhagra has been warned that this may be an aberration and that the ogling of his male friends and the envy of the female ones are dangerous. He has been instructed to follow the "NU" act with immediate effect.

Dr. Bhagra has requested for time to think and will comment on the same after consulting his better half.

In case you are aware of any other cases of willful negligence, please report the same immediately, so that disaster can be averted.

Gonna Write!

I love horror movies. And getting scared. And I believe I would like to share the thrill with my friends. After all sharing is a very integral part of caring.

So I have decided to start writing. I believe that this is the scariest experience I can provide my friends and the thrill of it would keep them coming back for more. At some stage, this might lead to me evolving as a writer and becoming famous. But that is too small a sacrifice for such a noble deed.

My readers may assume one of the following 2 postures after going through my works:

Position 1



Position 2

I believe that 100% of my readers would begin with Position 1, and it would take a lot of hard work on my part to move readers to Position 2. However, I am prepared for this challenge. I shall consider myself successful when I manage to move 67.3% of my readers to Position 2.

Some of you may feel that 67.3% is an adhoc number that I have arrived at. But you are sadly mistaken. After using numerous complicated algorithms and predictive models, I have calculated that this is the number of friends I need to move to position 2, to qualify for one of the most coveted job in the United States of America.

This job has been awaiting an incumbent such as me since 9/11/01. It entails the torture of Al Qaeeda operatives to an extent that no torturers in the past have been able to achieve. With my peculiar writing skills, many believe that I can achieve this previously unachievable feat. I do have a tough road ahead of me, but I am determined to be successful in my endeavors.

Oops! Did I just leak the true objective of my efforts. That's disastrous! But I believe that you are all my true friends and would stand by me in my time of need. And all said and done I DO provide you free of cost thrill that is achievable only on watching an authentic Ramsay Brothers or a Himesh Reshamiya movie. So stay with me and enjoy the ride.

PS - If you feel like pulling out your hair, or throwing up, go ahead. Give way to the urge. It is perfectly normal and most people share these reactions with you. But don't even think about blocking my posts. That may unleash hitherto unknown terrors and there may be no escape thereafter.

Agonizingly yours
Sarika

Greed is good!

�Greed is Good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed in all its forms, greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge, has marked the upward surge of mankind and greed will, you mark my words� save the malfunctioning corporation called the USA.�

Well , we have just seen what Greed has done to the malfunctioning corporation called USA. It�s nearly killed it.

From the robber barons to the sub-prime crisis, American Capitalism has lived through many cycles of greed. Amusement over greed often preceded revulsion with it. Business leaders first get glamorized and idolized. Then move on to getting demonized. Regulation moves on to deregulation and comes all the way back.

Where does this greed come from? Does it come from the share holders, who want more return on their capital? Does it come from the management, who want to get more bonuses? Or does it come from the employees, who want the fastest growth and be in the position of the former two, asap?

I think it starts way before that. It comes from the parents.

It comes, when the mom is dissatisfied with the amount of food her child eats, and wants him to eat more. It comes when the dad is unhappy because his kid started walking or talking too late. It comes when the parents are unhappy with the marks scored by their child in school. And it comes when the child does not get the things that we have dreamt of and considered worthy of for our child.

As a child I used to hear �santosh sabse bada dhan hai�. But never saw it practiced anywhere around me. Contentment was for the losers, not for the winners.

But that�s the disease our society is ailing from. Yes, it is important to desire, as dreams and the desire to achieve them is what keeps us alive. But there has to be an acceptable level of growth. Running too fast makes you fall, but there is always an option to run at speed that is sustainable for longer periods of time. Winning isn�t half as much fun as running together all the way and enjoying the company.

Our corporate world probably should set growth targets which are sustainable and acceptable. Slower than that and you may get bored. Faster, and you may fall.

The more we spend, the more we earn

For years we have been seeing the outrageous consumption behavious of the US consumer, who was forever spending money borrowed from the future and rarely saving anything. Wrong though it seemed, this is what kept the global economy on a growth chart.

Japan also benefitted from this consumption behaviour for a while when it started selling to the US. However, despite the period of prosperity that the country went through, the average Japanese continued to save instead of spending and soon the Japanese economy came to a standstill.

In recent years, India has also gone through a period of high growth by selling to the global consumer and we had just started seeing the same translating into growth in domestic consumption, with the average Indian going out and spending more. In the recent past, this led to a rapid growth in the Indian economy with almost all sectors benefitting. With those involved in the high growth export related sectors earning more, we saw more houses being bought, more money being spent in malls, more consumer goods purchases, more leisure travel, more investments and in general more of everything. The same had also started to have a trickle-down effect in the economy and individuals working in the related sectors also saw period of super-normal growth.

This cycle has just got disrupted. Layoffs and salary cuts have now started in the sectors that heralded the start of the India Growth story. While most of the developed economies will have to go through this recesssionary period till a new technology evolves and another bubble starts; we Indians have a choice.

Indians have traditionally been savers (thanks to the lack of a social security system and years of poverty). However, it's consumption that aids economic growth and not saving. To come out of this recession real fast, we need to ensure that we continue to spend and consume. The demographics of India, unlike the world, is extremely strong and as per estimates, we shall continue to be a young country at least till 2025. This essentially means that a larger proportion of our population would be economically productive, unlike some of our more developed counterparts and we would also have more individuals in the consumption stage of their life cycle.

This essentially means that India can continue to grow on the back of domestic consumption and reduce dependence over other nations. What we need to do is to not cut our spending too drastically and keep up the consumerism. The more we spend, the more we earn.